As it turns out, it’s not my job to predict the future or control everything. Well ain’t that a kick in the pants? For a while there, I thought I was getting pretty good at it! But here's the thing. Every time I have attempted to predict, control, arrange, rearrange, manipulate, in order to ensure a certain outcome, I have been, in fact, pushing against myself, against fate and the natural evolution of my journey. The thing that was in the way, blocking me from moving forward, was ME! In other words, these were the times I needed to get out of my own way! Eventually, after lots of stubborn stumbling, I saw that when I allow things to unfold in their own timing, the answers bubble-up and all the solutions reveal themselves when it’s time. Getting out of my own way has been a challenging lesson for me. It’s ongoing, and the good news is, over time it has gotten easier, and I get out of the way quicker.
I used to call myself a “control freak.” Now I say I’m a “recovering control freak,” which means about 90% of the time I can recognize when I’m trying to control or predict, stop myself, and get out of my own way. I take a step back, take a deep breath, and put my faith and trust in that which is more powerful than me. I get quiet and listen for the guidance and the answers. They always come. The challenge is becoming comfortable with not knowing all the answers right away, being patient, and having faith that I’ll know when I’m supposed to know.
The other 10% of the time? Well, let’s just say lots of wine and tacos are involved!
This is not to say that we should be passively sitting back in the recliner waiting for God, the Universe, or some higher power to tell us what to do. I think that’s too extreme in the lazy and irresponsible direction. I firmly believe that we should all be active participants in our lives; that we absolutely DO have a say in what happens.
Okay, so where’s the line? How do we know when to take action and when to hang back? How do we recognize when it's time to get out of our own way? First, we must search within ourselves in order to understand what we want to achieve, accomplish, experience; next we must own it; and finally, we must step into it fiercely and gracefully, take actions and set into motion the things necessary to make it happen. Along the way, there will be moments when we get stuck, or find ourselves at a crossroads, or faced with choices that are not immediately crystal clear. These are the moments when we must get out of our own way. Stop, take a breath, get quiet and listen. Listen for the guidance and the answers. Remember, they always come.